Chick On a Date

adventures in online and offline dating

Just An Old-Fashioned Girl

on February 15, 2012

I must be an old-fashioned woman. I don’t usually think I am, and most people who know me wouldn’t probably say I am either. But when it comes to dating, I definitely think I might be stuck in the past.

I like to be wooed. I like being treated like a lady. I love a man with some persistence. This is somewhat of a lost art these days, though. There aren’t that many men who actually enjoy courting a woman any more. It feels like most guys want some sort of immediate gratification — you go out on a date, you like each other, you fall into a routine. You both stop dating other people, you stop going out as much, you start wearing sweatpants around each other. For some guys, this could happen within about three dates. Well, no thank you, sir.

Dating — finding someone to hopefully spend the rest of your life with — is a serious business. I am not interested in men who stop calling after you tell them once that you are too busy to see them that night. I apologize for not putting my life on hold for someone I barely know, but if you take offense to such a thing and write me off, you really aren’t worth knowing anyway, in my opinion. Just like I won’t get all pissy when you say you have plans with your friends some Friday night, I expect you to understand that I have a life outside of you and I’m not pining away by the phone waiting for you to call. But that doesn’t mean I want you to give up! I really like a guy who, when faced with a “no” for a particular date, follows up with an alternative. “Busy this weekend? Well, how about next weekend?” That tells me he’s a man with some self-esteem, who realizes he needs to make plans with you more than a day or two in advance. He can take “no” for an answer and his world doesn’t come crashing down. But he doesn’t give up, either.

Persistence means communicating as well. I’ve actually gone out with some guys in the past year that I barely ever spoke to outside of our dates. It seems pretty obvious to me why I’ve moved on from them pretty quickly. If you can’t call me every now and then, if you don’t answer texts or emails, that’s a pretty good sign that you’re going to be non-comunicative in a relationship too. And I’m not into men who can’t communicate.

I’m not so old-fashioned I won’t ever call first, or ask you out before you ask me, but I do like all the old-school wooing techniques. Yes, I like getting flowers. There’s something about knowing a guy thought enough of you to take a few minutes to pick out a pretty bouquet for you that just makes a girl feel good. I like cute little texts throughout the day that say “Thinking of you” or “How’s your day going?” You notice these things aren’t real time-consuming, right? Seriously, the 30 seconds you take to show me that I’m on your mind means the world to me. And when I do the same for you, I don’t expect to be ignored for 24 hours. I know guys spend a shit ton of time on their phone every day; don’t act like you didn’t see my text or couldn’t take a minute out to respond to it. See the part where I don’t like non-communicative men above.

I am a sucker for men who are gentlemanly. I like having doors opened for me. I like when a man lets me walk into a building first. I like a guy who takes my hand when we cross a street. I’m a very independent person, but there’s something about that feeling of being taken care of that gets me every time. A guy who knows how to make eye contact during a conversation, who doesn’t stare at other women right in front of you, and who makes you feel you’re the center of his attention at that moment has a lot going for him. When I’m out with a man, I’m testing him out, just like he’s testing me. If he seems like a jerk on a date, I can assume he’s going to be an ass for the rest of his life. I won’t waste my time on him.

But if a man woos me, treats me well, and makes me feel special, I know he might be a keeper. And that’s all I’m looking for.


2 responses to “Just An Old-Fashioned Girl

  1. Richard says:

    Great blog, spot on!

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