Chick On a Date

adventures in online and offline dating

Let’s Make a Pact

on October 29, 2012

We all know I’m currently boyfriend-less. I’m just another lonely lady in the lonely world looking for a lonely man to call her own. But I’ve been meeting some really interesting people lately and, who knows, one of them just may end up being the Man For Me. And if that turns out to be the case, I know there are some things I’ll have to change in my life. So here’s my Contract For Being A Good Girlfriend:

What I’ll Do For Love

I solemnly swear that at such time as I earn the right to call some guy My Main Squeeze, I will do or will no longer do the following things:

  • I promise to smash down my insane hair in the morning to the best of my ability so I don’t scare the hell out of him as soon as he wakes up.
  • I will limit the number of products in the bathroom to leave space for his personal items. (This is a hard one.)
  • I will not eat only a hotdog and a glass of wine for dinner (unless he happens to be as awesome as I am, and then I’m totally willing to throw a couple more dogs on).
  • I will remember to call to let him know when I’ll be late. I will also try really hard not to bitch at him if he forgets to call me. As long as he just forgets once. After that, dude’s on his own.
  • I will make it my number one job to make him laugh every day. Even if I have to fall down or put snow down my own pants to do it.
  • I will never forget his birthday or our anniversary, and I will think of amazing ways to celebrate. (I may need help with this one.)
  • I will always pick him first whenever we’re in a situation that calls for teams.
  • I will not make fun of him when he cries at a sad movie and then pretends he wasn’t crying. At least not much.
  • I will read aloud to him. Hopefully, this won’t be something I have to do against his will. I will also listen carefully when he reads aloud to me.
  • I will make up songs and stories about him. Everyone deserves to be the star of a song and a story every now and then. Especially my honey.
  • I will not make him do stuff he really hates, and if it’s something we both really hate then we will take turns or draw straws.
  • I promise to never withhold sex as a punishment. Because, after all, that’s really just punishing myself, isn’t it?
  • I will always ask his opinion about important things, and I will actually consider his opinion thoughtfully. No lip service here.
  • I will laugh even when he tells lame jokes. I will laugh especially hard at said jokes when we are in the presence of other people and no one else laughs.
  • I will always have his back.

I’m probably leaving a lot of stuff out, but that’s what we (whenever I know who “we” is) can figure out together. For now, I think this contract is mighty tempting to any man, don’t you?


2 responses to “Let’s Make a Pact

  1. phish56 says:

    mush n goo, 🙂 keep up the great writing, these always are both poignant, and Yes, bring a big smile to my face~!~! We are still on for dinner sometime soon, yah ??? my treat 🙂 tff

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